Psalm in the Spirit of Dragnet
By Julie Marie Wade
Tonight all the stars are just celestial swag
in the moon's handbag, flashy & overpriced.
All the angels are pinheads, & not even pinheads of light.
Here's what I know: I am good
at déjà vu but bad at karaoke. I am good
at Magic 8-Ball but bad at bicycle-built-for-two.
Axiom, from the Greek meaning "No rebuttals," meaning "Whatever I say is true."
For instance, the heart is shaped like a Hungryman dinner,
indestructible as Styrofoam & always divided.
Somewhere in the cosmos this moment
the ghost of Jack Webb is asking the ghost of Harry Morgan
for "Just the facts," & Morgan is laughing his ethereal ass off.
Axiom, from the Greek meaning, "No facts, ma'am, only interpretations."
When the smooth, voluptuous moon falls into the ocean,
like bait on fishing line, I see her for the yo-yo she is,
& God, who is learning to walk the dog.
Speaking of dogs, I decree they all shall be mutts & all named Fido.
All shall have spots & ride starboard, at least once, on a flaming-red fire engine.
Joni Mitchell shall play on all the jukeboxes in all the coffee shops, especially
at the Axiom Diner, from the Greek meaning "greasy spoon," meaning "tops in food."
But getting back to that moon, who can be such a diva sometimes,
who only ever buys her triple-shot mocha frappuccinos from Starbucks.
It's a hard job keeping her up all night, that moon.
The baristas are grouchy in their green aprons, swigging their Ethos water.
Now the weatherperson predicts one hell of a zeitgeist arriving on Tuesday.
There is talk of losing all the apostrophes in a bad grammar meteor shower.
Sometimes the sky is calm & white & pleated with cirrus clouds.
Sometimes the thunder sounds like God driving his old Zamboni across a starlit, skating rink floor.
The moon has only a few good moves & is never going to nail that triple Salcow.
Axiom, from the Greek for "stick the landing."
The moon doesn't mind. The moon is already a gold medal.
As for my guardian angel, it's a toss-up:
I'll take Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha from Bewitched,
or Nietzsche, as himself, exactly.
Daniel is taking a class in Musical Cultures of the World for which he needed to attend a live performance of sacred music, so after a quiet morning, we went to the National Cathedral for the daily Choral Evensong service. The music was beautiful, performed in part by a choir from Lancaster, PA, but that wasn't the highlight of our visit, since it was the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi and the cathedral was holding its annual Blessing of the Animals service on the steps outside the Cathedral under the rose window. There were hundreds of dogs (and a few cats and small animals, though those were cowering in carriers), plus volunteers from animal rescue organizations and several ministers to perform blessings on the grass.
We came home for dinner before taking Daniel back to College Park, causing us to miss the great joy in Baltimore when the Orioles beat the Tigers to advance to the ALCS, which we have just learned will be against the Royals -- the Ravens had lost earlier in the day, but I doubt anyone in Maryland is focused on that right now! Sports news had been pretty good all day, since I woke up to learn that overnight in Australia, Russell Crowe's Rabbitohs had won the premiership. Daniel needed to prepare meals for the week, so we stopped at Shoppers Food Warehouse with him before taking him to his apartment. Then we came home for Once Upon a Time, which was a little silly but not nearly as much as Saturday's Doctor Who, and now we're watching the Patriots win.