From 'The Onion'

Woman Mentally Breaks Up With Colin Farrell
MERCER, PA—Heather Lentz's 11-month imaginary romance with bad-boy heartthrob Colin Farrell has ended, the 25-year-old paralegal announced Monday.

*laughs till cries*

Also:

Mom Finds Out About Blog
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—In a turn of events the 30-year-old characterized as "horrifying," Kevin Widmar announced Tuesday that his mother Lillian has discovered his weblog.