Penis Envy
By Erica Jong
I envy men who can yearn
with infinite emptiness
toward the body of a woman,
hoping that the yearning
will make a child,
that the emptiness itself
will fertilize the darkness.
Women have no illusions about this,
being at once
houses, tunnels,
cups & cupbearers,
knowing emptiness as a temporary state
between two fullnesses,
& seeing no romance in it.
If I were a man
doomed to that infinite emptiness,
& having no choice in the matter,
I would, like the rest, no doubt,
find a woman
& christen her moonbelly,
madonna, gold-haired goddess
& make her the tent of my longing,
the silk parachute of my lust,
the blue-eyed icon of my sacred sexual itch,
the mother of my hunger.
But since I am a woman,
I must not only inspire the poem
but also type it,
not only conceive the child
but also bear it,
not only bear the child
but also bathe it,
not only bathe the child
but also feed it,
not only feed the child
but also carry it
everywhere, evertwhere...
while men write poems
on the mysteries of motherhood.
I envy men who can yearn
with infinite emptiness
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This is the poem I mentioned when I was talking about Neruda's "Night on the Island" a couple of days ago, though it plays on the conceit of woman as vessel/cupbearer/receptacle/muse in much older poetry than Neruda's. Wish I had known it while I was struggling simultaneously in college with H.D. and with my phenomenally sexist Chaucer professor.
And now I must abandon
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