By Nathaniel Mackey
— "mu" fifth part —
His they their
we, their he
his was but if
need be one,
self-
extinguishing
I, neither sham nor
excuse yet an
alibi, exited,
out,
else
the only where
he'd be.
Before
the long since
remaindered
body, imagines
each crack, each
crevice as it sweats
under cloth,
numbed
inarticulate
tongues touching
down on love's endlessly
warmed-over thigh.
The awaited one
she mistook him for haunts
him, tells him in
dreams he told
him so.
Such offense,
but at what
won't say,
moot
remonstrance,
no resolve if not
not to be caught
out. . .
Abstract advance, its
advantage unproved,
unbelieved-in,
vain
what wish would
give. . .
Late eighties
night
momentarily bleached by
bomblight. Awoke,
maybe inwardly wanted
it,
wrestling with dreams
of the
awaited one again.
Thought
back but a moment later
what moodier start
to have gotten off
to,
angered by that but
begrudged it its impact
and
so sits remembering,
pretending, shrugs it
off. . .
Arced harp. Dark
bent-over body. Esoteric
sun whose boat its
back
upheld. . .
Unseizably
vast underbelly of
light,
limb-letting thrust.
Tread of
hoofs. Weighted udders of
dust. . .
His it their she
once they awake,
the
arisen one,
world
at her feet,
her feet
one with their
rapture,
ankledeep in damage
though she
dances. . .
The slippings off
of her
of their hands define
her hips, whose are
the suns whose
heat
his nights taste
of
and as at last he
lies her legs loom,
naked,
loose gown pulled from
her, sleep
turns.
And he with his
postures
cramps the air,
bent
lotuslike, lips
part kiss,
part
pout
--------
It snowed some more, I had a doctor's appointment, it took longer than it should have to get there because although the snow wasn't sticking it was falling very hard right when I needed to be driving, and there were traffic lights out at the major intersection between the mall and the medical complex -- fortunately there were police directing traffic in the lousy visibility. I had to wait quite a while for the doctor, as always, and got conflicting information about follow-up stuff, with the doctor saying one thing and the office saying another. With both my internist and my GYN, I have doctors I love in large practices I really dislike -- scheduling people who don't seem to know what they're talking about, billing staff who can't read their own forms, nurses who have to be called several times to get lab results. Is this just how the medical profession is now? I know lots of other people with the same complaints, and I really don't want to change doctors, but when a doctor tells me to come in at a certain time of the month for a certain procedure then the receptionist tells me sorry but that's absolutely impossible given her schedule, I don't know whether I'm getting the runaround from the doctor I think I like.
The rest of my day, at least, was good, though I had to give up on my plan to get The Wrath of Khan reviewed -- the internet cable was working again when I got back from the doctor, but the router had reset itself and renamed the network, so nobody could log on, and I had a pile of e-mails and forms and things that I had to take care of after more than a day without access to my main computer. I got my Variety with the King's Speech behind the scenes DVD and of course I had to watch that, and I had intended to watch Colin, Geoffrey, and Helena on Piers Morgan (I don't know which excerpt I like more) but he postponed them for coverage of what's going on in Egypt, which is fair enough except that CNN already had most of their other people covering Egypt and they DIDN'T bump the Kardashians last night. I had to turn off the news after a while because it's so stressful to keep seeing some of those images -- we watched A Single Man (yes that is twice in a week but Paul hadn't seen it) and it was cheerful by comparison, Cuban Missile Crisis and all.
Here are some photos of the Maryland Zoo's big cats, acting like kitties:
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