By Dorianne Laux
When I came with you that first time
on the floor of your office, the dirty carpet
under my back, the heel of one foot
propped on your shoulder, I went ahead
and screamed, full-throated, as loud
and as long as my body demanded,
because somewhere, in the back of my mind,
packed in the smallest neurons still capable
of thought, I remembered
we were in a warehouse district
and that no sentient being resided for miles.
Afterwards, when I would unclench
my hands and open my eyes, I looked up.
You were on your knees, your arms
stranded at your sides, so still --
the light from the crooknecked lamp
sculpting each lift and delicate twist,
the lax muscles, the smallest veins
on the backs of your hands. I saw
the ridge of each rib, the blue hollow
pulsing at your throat, all the colors
in your long blunt cut hair which hung
over your face like a raffia curtain
in some south sea island hut.
And as each bright synapse unfurled
and followed its path, I recalled
a story I'd read that explained why women
cry out when they come -- that it's
the call of the conqueror, a siren howl
of possession. So I looked again
and it felt true, your whole body
seemed defeated, owned, having taken on
the aspect of a slave in shackles, the wrists
loosely bound with invisible rope.
And when you finally spoke you didn't
lift your head but simply moaned the word god
on an exhalation of breath -- I knew then
I must be merciful, benevolent,
impossibly kind.
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Not an eventful Monday, just editing and laundry and uploading the photos I never got to last night while working on the Shutterfly book -- of course Shutterfly extended the coupon a day, but if I'd counted on them to do that, I'm sure they wouldn't have and I'd have had to wait till I had another free coupon to print the book I worked on for so long! It was chilly but nice out compared to south of us, where a bunch of snow fell; we had a tiny bit of precipitation but not even sleet, so after hanging out with Maddy at lunch and driving her to work, I went to the park, enjoyed the fresh air, and raided Rayquaza with friends.
After learning that Maryland had only received a fifth seed in the NCAA women's tournament, which is awfully low (at least they get to beat Princeton), we watched Tulip Fever, which has a great cast -- Alicia Vikander, Judi Dench, Christoph Waltz, Holliday Grainger -- but couldn't decide whether it wanted to be historical, contemporary, witty, or dramatic so felt rather uneven, though it was gorgeous to look at. Then we caught up on Blindspot, which was completely brilliant -- Groundhog Day meets The Breakfast Club by way of the sadly now canceled Limitless! From Green Spring Gardens yesterday, an overview:
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