By Joanna Fuhrman
Everyone I ever loved is standing
on a platform with a gun.
In the cartoon version, a flag pops
with the word 'bang.'
In the soap opera version,
my face turns the color of merlot.
In the haiku version,
metal gleams in the narrow shadow.
In the Republican version,
two guns wrap themselves in a single flag.
In the Langpo version.
idolatry yips yaps paradigm the.
In my diary version,
I wonder why everyone hates me.
In the indie film version,
a gun flickers over a mumbled tune.
In the Chekhov version,
(well, you already know.)
In the 10 o'clock news version,
the crisis in violence is rising.
In the action film version,
a shot means profits are rolling.
In the catalog version,
the smoke's hue is a burnished moss.
In the teen movie version,
a nerdy gun removes her glasses.
In the lucid dream version,
I kiss a muzzle and it blossoms.
In the music video version,
a gun turns into a mouth.
Tonight's utterly brilliant season finale of Futurama made me think of that poem; in the episode, we get to see how the show would look if it were a 1930s animated short, a video game, and an anime series. We took a break from the Green Bay-New Orleans NFL season opener to watch Futurama, though it was a good game; at one point I thought it was going to be a Packers blowout, but the Saints never quit. In honor of the anniversary of Star Trek, I also had to watch "Albatross." In other entertainment news, I watched Tangled this morning while folding laundry (which despite older son's being in college has increased exponentially since Adam has been running in the rain and mud every day). I must admit that the evil stepmother a la Natalie Portman's in Black Swan was much more interesting to me than the princess, who was not as progressive as one might have hoped, in large part from having been locked in a tower for most of her life, though it was still a big improvement on Enchanted.
But speaking of rain, I have really had quite enough, thank you, and it is starting to cause real problems even for our relatively spared region (Hurricane Lee has created much bigger problems south and east of us). I had plans to go out to lunch with my mother, but rather than go park somewhere exotic, we ended up at the mall, since we could park under cover and not have to walk through a torrential thunderstorm which alternated with standard pissing downpour all day long. It ended up being a nice way to spend a rainy day, as we spent very little time eating and most of it schmoozing in stores; my mother bought me a very pretty bracelet in Brighton, and I bought myself some candles in Bath & Body Works as all the rain makes the house smell like wet dog even though we don't have a dog and now it smells like vanilla coconut instead. I have nothing deep to say about Obama, I have a rant building about the Palestinian statehood vote but I am conflicted and therefore not articulate about it. Shopping at the Maryland Renfaire: