Poem for Tuesday

The Letter
By Bei Dao (Zhao Zhenkai)

where are you
where is the straight of roses
where is the path through the fire
where is the peak that forgets its oath
where is the pear
whose body shuts like a clam
where is the pre-doomsday carnival
where is the flag's victorious star
where is the dense fog's centre
where are you
where are we

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1. My father may need gall bladder surgery. Or may have pancreatitis. (He has diabetes, I do not know if there is a relationship.) Will know more in the morning. Right now he is sleeping and in the morning they are going to do one of those scans where you have to drink yucky stuff so it shows up on a monitor. I wish I were less fried so I could explain this better, but there you go. Thanks so, so much for all the wishes and prayers. *hugs*
2. It's that time of the month. Maybe that should have been #1, since god knows it is affecting me physically as much. If you are inclined to dismiss a woman's moods based on her cycle, feel free to ignore the rest.
3. Hit several fannish throw-in-the-towel points at once today. Because you can't do anything about it when people lie about you or exaggerate things behind your back -- even when you show people your actual words, it doesn't take away the stigma of what they were told you said. Some things are worth fighting for in principle, but most fannish things are just not worth the stress.
4. Got two of three articles done in the midst of insanity, am damn proud of this, may get none done tomorrow and may be in trouble for that. They may not be in English if I do.
5. kept me sane for large portions of the day. kept me sane for much of the night. I owe them both...smut, or something.
6. Sons made it to Mad Science and fencing respectively. Spoke to sister several times and some of mother's friends. This suggests to me that I was functioning semi-normally. Who'd have thought.
7. The weather was beyond incredible. Might have hit 80. I took a lovely walk at lunchtime.
8. Since I was in the mood for 1) an uplifting medical story and 2) Alan Rickman, I rewatched Something the Lord Made, this time with my kids who were utterly engrossed. Rickman and Mos Def are just so good, and I love that story and that it's mostly real.


Huntley Meadows snake.