The Snowfall Is So Silent
Miguel de Unamuno
Translated by Robert Bly
The snowfall is so silent,
so slow,
bit by bit, with delicacy
it settles down on the earth
and covers over the fields.
The silent snow comes down
white and weightless;
snowfall makes no noise,
falls as forgetting falls,
flake after flake.
It covers the fields gently
while frost attacks them
with its sudden flashes of white;
covers everything with its pure
and silent covering;
not one thing on the ground
anywhere escapes it.
And wherever it falls it stays,
content and gay,
for snow does not slip off
as rain does,
but it stays and sinks in.
The flakes are skyflowers,
pale lilies from the clouds,
that wither on earth.
They come down blossoming
but then so quickly
they are gone;
they bloom only on the peak,
above the mountains,
and make the earth feel heavier
when they die inside.
Snow, delicate snow,
that falls with such lightness
on the head,
on the feelings,
come and cover over the sadness
that lies always in my reason.
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Last night I had a long, detailed dream about the person I loathe most in the world -- a woman I barely know, who made life an absolute hell for my entire family for nearly three years, and now that I am awake I am getting all upset just thinking about this. But in the dream, I ran into her in some kind of indoor amusement park-arcade, and she was going out of her way to be incredibly friendly, so much so that I felt like I would have to be a total bitch not at least to be civil to her, and I ended up decided I would have rather liked her had it not been for her being the person who had made life an utter hell for my entire family for nearly three years.
I thought that perhaps she didn't even realize who I was though she clearly knew my name, but then at the end of the dream, she said something about the situation -- not even an apology, just a sort of, "I'm glad that's all over now," and I said to her, very calmly, "You know, you actually made me think about killing myself," and a little bit about why -- how the situation had affected us, psychologically, financially, and in lots of other ways -- and she still didn't apologize but she just sort of nodded and walked away, and I decided that in spite of everything it was not worth not having her as a friend if I could have her as a friend, and I followed her and asked if we should get together sometime.
Holy fuck. Think my subconscious is trying to tell me something? I'm the one who always says that if I could have a super-power it would be to believe in the good in all people...and stupidly enough I feel good, like something has been resolved, even though I am sure that the next time I see this woman at a PTA meeting, my blood pressure will go through the roof again.
And now, though I owe a TON of mail and feedback and comments, and I have to work, and I have stuff to get done before Thanksgiving, I am going to shower, as
and I are going to a late morning show of Master and Commander. So I will be basking in the Jack-and-Stephen love all day, thank you very much. *happy*
And look what and I made: ! Now I just need to write some fic for it. *g*